Brat Farrar (bratfarrar) wrote,
Brat Farrar
bratfarrar

but

The sun yet shines; the birds yet sing; the crocuses are in full bloom. My room is covered in dancing motes of light and rainbows. I am listening to lovely lute music that would have been completely unavailable 70 years ago. I can work whatever hours I like, wherever I like, so long as I get the job done roughly on time and with good quality. Tonight I'll read the last act of Pericles (which is utterly ridiculous, though probably not intended to be) with friends who would have been utterly unavailable 20 years ago, due to where they live. For several months a different group of friends have been discussing Augustine's City of God, and it is both joy and good, hard work.

I am nearly comfortable in my skin, which a teenaged me would've thought impossible. I have clothes that I like a lot, and money enough to buy as many of them as I want, also things that were once unimaginable.

It is so very easy to hold onto hurts and brood over them until they are all the world. It is also very easy, once you learn the trick to it, to let them go. But you have to want it--want to allow yourself to be happy in whatever rich gifts you've been given, that are so very apparent once you turn to look at them. I'm a new learner yet, and often have to be reminded that I even can, but oh, what relief it brings.
Tags: personal things
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