Contemplating the past

I've been looking over gentle_edgar, the account I started for my one and only role-play fic ("Edgar and the Fool", a King Lear epistolary fic that my college roommate and I played at for several years, on and off), which later turned into the dumping grounds for my fic from roughly 2006-2012. I think. It's hard to go back and reconstruct. In retrospect, I can't really recall why I made that move in the first place, except perhaps because it seemed like the cool kids were doing it. Looking at it with the eye of 2018, that seems to be the reasoning behind a fair bit of it.

I don't judge my younger self for it, but the whole thing is kind of fascinating--I can see here and there things that I did because I saw other people doing them, or choices I made in hopes of snagging more of an audience. Trying to fit in and never quite making it.

That's not all it was, of course, but it really is very like visiting a dead blog that used to belong to someone else--a near-stranger, even.

Anyhow. Sometimes the past can be depressing, but in this case I think it's encouraging: No pretensions of popularity now, and even if my fic count is far lower than I'd like, I'm managing to stick to the discipline of posting daily (though rather last-minutely, as in today's case). I like having a variety blog, with music and poetry and screen caps and everything all rubbing elbows: it's a more rounded reflection of who I am as a person.

And now I'm kind of curious about you all: what were you doing online between 2006 and 2012? Same thing as now? Dramatic differences? Anything from back then that you regret having abandoned or are glad to have accomplished?

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Your ruminations prompted me to look at the start of my LJ. I joined in 2004 and posted very sporadic comments about everyday life, mostly about moving from the place we'd lived for 17 years, and observations about my daughters, two of whom were still teenagers then, and stories from the various jobs I've had over the years. Several of them cracked me up, several of them made me go 'oh yeah, I remember that,' and some made me go 'wow, I'd forgotten all about that!'

I got from 2004 to 2009...and then I hit the first post I ever made about Supernatural, September 15, 2009, where I freaked out about the addictive nature of this show because I was devouring the first 4 season on dvds and did not understand this compulsion. (Laughing at this from 9 years later...)

Thank you for inadvertently prompting me to revisit my past and smile!

You're welcome! It's good to look back at where we've been, sometimes. It's funny--I've never managed to keep a traditional journal or diary for longer than two weeks running, but this thing keeps chugging along.
It's funny looking back isn't it, and I can relate to the feeling it was a whole different person. I only discovered fandom existed in 2006 through SPN, and back then I was reading fic on ffnet and commenting anonymously, and didn't open an account there until 2008. It took me another 3 years before I opened an account here.