Ficbit: Respite [spn]

At deadlybride's behest, I am working on turning the bits and pieces I wrote while on vacation into an actual coherent story, but in the meantime, here's a self-standing fragment:


There's almost no internet at the cabin, but Sam gets up early one morning and spends a good half-hour standing in the one spot that gets a bar of someone’s unsecured WiFi, just so he can download *Dracula*, and they curl up on the futon together, eating cold Thai and mocking the top-notch security at Seward’s asylum, which allows Renfield to just wander around wherever he pleases. “Wish it’d been that easy when *we* were in the nuthouse,” Dean says, tucking noodles away in his cheek like one of the chipmunks hanging out in the cabin’s stone foundation. “Some of those nurses—” He grimaces at Sam, mouth finally stopped up.

“Yeah,” Sam agrees, telling himself that his stomach is churning from too much curry and not at the memory of old clawing rage. Mostly he’s able to forget his past anger, can bury those memories in the ash of dim regret. “Hey, swap cartons? I want some of the black bean sauce before you finish it.”

Dean wrinkles his nose at the thought of sharing but makes the exchange without actual complaint. “Next time let’s try the Ran Pan Poo or whatever. This stuff’s spicier than I expected.”

“The Rad Nah? Sure,” Sam agrees, soothed by the sweetness of the Pad See Eaw and the press of Dean’s shoulder against his, the steady slap of the water on the shore below. “Hey, Fay Wray against Mina—who wins?”

“Looks or guts?” Dean asks, eyes glued to the screen, shoveling in the curried noodles at a distinctly slower pace. “Fay Wray screams more, but Mina’s a complete pushover.”

“In the book Mina’s the brains of the operation,” Sam says, and from there it turns into an argument over whether adaptations supercede their source material and Dean reminiscing about Jamie-the-bar-wench from that weird shapeshifter case they’d done years earlier.

The movie plays along to its uncertain ending, unnoticed and forgotten.

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I love moments like this.      m.        :)

“Yeah,” Sam agrees, telling himself that his stomach is churning from too much curry and not at the memory of old clawing rage. Mostly he’s able to forget his past anger, can bury those memories in the ash of dim regret.

I could just roll around in this. I love late-seasons Sam. (I liked early-seasons Sam, too, but he's more interesting now, I'd argue.)
Yeah--the shift in his temperament is so interesting. What happened to all that rage? Was it purged out with the demon blood? Did fighting through insanity wear it away? Or was it Dean's death at the hands of Metatron that finally killed it--seeing the consequence of holding onto his anger for too long and driving his brother to despair and self-destruction...?
I think in one of my fics I attributed it to the 'excoriation of the cage'--I think that's it, honestly. He's furious, by his own admission, right up until Swan Song. Then, we don't see him again until "Like a Virgin." What's left at that point is a stripped-down version of Sam: no powers, no memory of being soulless, but also no memory of hell.

You'd think he'd be just the same as he was the moment before he fell backwards... but he's not. That furious, bone-deep anger just doesn't come up again. (Not that I can remember, anyway.) Saint!Sam reigns, through to the end of season 6, through the breaking of the wall, through being healed, through Leviathan. It only gets evened out once Dean goes to Purgatory, and he gains that edge of bitterness.
Hm--yes. You have that one fight over Amy in season 7, but that blows over by the end of the next episode and is then completely forgotten.

(Side note: Isn't it weird how a misreading of a text become entrenched in popular consciousness? "Dean killed Sam's friend Amy!" Yeah, and Sam eventually confesses that it was probably the right thing to do, Dean then admits he felt really crappy about lying to Sam, and they move on. But that aaalllll gets ignored in favor of the fanon narrative.

Occasionally I'm irked by this sort of thing, but mostly I'm just baffled.)