I loved my childhood. I don't regret my parents' decision to live on one income so my mom could stay home with us kids. Despite the constant awareness that money was very finite, there was almost never any visible worry over it, and only ever because of a particular set of circumstances that was always surmounted (though, admittedly, sometimes thanks to my grandmother's second husband's bank account. Not a nice man, but his bank account made for a handy fairy godmother).
But there are consequences to growing up this way, beyond the tendency to not spend money if you can help it. Negative ones, I mean. Like the habit of hanging onto things regardless of whether you need them, want them, or even if they're fully functional (because, theoretically, you could fix them, and then that's $xx saved, even if you wouldn't have bought one in the first place). Or an inability to say 'no' when someone offers you something, even if, again, you don't need/want it. Or (and this is the one I'm currently struggling with) having to eat free food just because it's there. You're not particularly hungry, it's not your favorite food, or even something you'd likely order in a restaurant, but it's there, and it's free, and so you eat it. And then wonder why you've gone up almost a waist size in 4 months and some of your shirts don't button right anymore.
Well, no. You don't wonder, because you know why. What you wonder about is how to get yourself to stop, because this is something you've been doing from childhood, which was okay until your job started supplying free Wawa breakfast sandwiches most days of the week.
And actually, you don't even wonder that. The thing you wonder about is why you aren't doing the things you know you could/should do to avoid putting yourself in a situation where those sandwiches are even a temptation. Like getting up earlier so that you can eat a healthy breakfast before work, or leaving the building during your lunch break so they're out of reach--particularly since you can turn that into a walk and burn calories instead of consuming them. (Okay, so the current staffing situation doesn't exactly allow for that, half the time, but still.) And you make all sorts of mental commitments and then break 99% of them. You really need to stop doing that. And by "you" I mean "me", so I should probably just shut up and get off the computer.
Yeah. So. This has been Confession Time with Brat. Tune in next time to hear me whine about how I can't keep my laundry off the floor.