Brat Farrar (bratfarrar) wrote,
Brat Farrar

i have run out of ideas for polls

things to do today:

finish and mail taxes!!!!!!!

plant peas before they succeed in eating the grow lights!!!!

go to work (ugh).

write write write write write!!!!!

the question would go here if I could think of one

positive option
negative option
wacky option
option thrown in just to round things out
batman option

Well, not really an address proper, but stuff I'm trying to hash out:
Why exactly am I doing this blog-thing? When I started out online, it was just a way to keep in touch with high school friends. When that sort of fell apart, I started this LJ as an outline for the creative writing I was doing between essays for college. Then it turned into a place to vent for the sake of my sanity, then SGA ate my brain, then it got canceled and stopped eating my brain, then I noodled around for a year doing pictures and poetry-of-a-sort and not much writing of fiction, and then I wound up where I am now: determined to finish my SGA WIPs, but having lost most of the fannish enthusiasm that got them started in the first place; pretty sure that I want to get into writing on a more professional level, but struggling to fit that in with everything else I'm trying to do at the same time; feeling frustrated and at loose ends.

I really really really REALLY don't want to be one of those writers who just--stops, leaving behind a bunch of WIPs and an annoyed audience, partly because I'd be part of the annoyed audience. But mostly because I believe in finished what you started, or acknowledging that you're really not going to finish it and putting the thing to rest properly. I don't like to just leave things hanging indefinitely. Not that that's helping much with the WIPs at the moment, of course. They're still there, I'm still mostly failing to get myself to write more than just outlines of stories, and right now I feel like nothing more than a wannabe unable to put my money where my mouth is.


Which is why I've signed up for three ficathons and am trying to actually successfully meet the deadline for the upcoming issue of imaginarybeasts. Because I have stories I want to tell and I'm sick of not getting them down on paper in readable form.

In summary: I want to write. I sort of forgot that for a while. I have now remembered it, am trying to do that, and feel a bit like all I'm doing is to futilely thrash around in the mud. I also know this isn't accurate, and if I keep trying to write eventually I will succeed in a form sharable with you lovely people.

So in other words: keep watching this space because someday, really and truly, interesting stuff will start happening again. Honest.
Tags: meme/poll

Recent Posts from This Journal

  • Independence Day!

  • *blows the dust off this thing*

    Okay. I am back, I think. Got a shiny new laptop for work, which should help me separate out "time to do my stuff" from "time to do work stuff" from…

  • It's off to work I go...

    Day three of being properly employed again, and I'm feeling... tired. Because a social engagement had me up until 1 AM last night (NOT a normal…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.