1. The purple stone on planet-200-that-looks-exactly-like-Vanco
(He, of course, had nothing to do with the worst offenders winding up with blue hair a couple days later. Honest, sir.)
2. The memory resorter from the planet that built a graveyard around their stargate. Sometimes the past should really just stay there.
3. The Cimmerian version of the flu. Knocked him out for almost a month; never had he been so happy to be allowed to do paperwork. After so much time either in bed or embracing the toilet, even desk duty seemed like heaven.
(Well, for about a day and a half.)
4. The taser-thing on the planet with all the no-really-not-a-monkeys. Completely screwed up his taste buds for two days—pumpkin pie tasted like lime jello tasted like coffee tasted like moldy bread. Only thing he could palate was tofu, which meant he went hungry. A man’s gotta have principles, after all.
+1. On Lantua, home of beautiful women and happy men (and beautiful men and happy women; very egalitarian, that place was), they had a rock that looked a little like what comes out when you sneeze too hard, which they said granted the heart’s deepest wish.
Well, actually, they said if you picked it up, your deepest wish would be fulfilled, but same difference. And Jack never had believed in any of that kind of thing, not even when he was a kid and had wanted to. He still didn’t believe it now, which was why he didn’t take the stone when Daniel held it out to him.
(Not because he was afraid of the consequences of his deepest wish coming true. Not at all. And maybe if he repeated that often enough, long enough, it wouldn’t be a lie anymore.)