October 3rd, 2019

horse of power

crack fic: Dean and a Horse, pt. 16 [spn]


“Go--I can hold them here,” Benny shouts as he’s swarmed by the dogs, but Dean can’t do that, not even when he reminds himself that none of this is real, it’s all just an incredibly believable spell. It’s still *Benny*, still the guy who’s watched his back twice now when he didn’t have to either time. He doesn’t have any weapon except the stupid ceremonial knife, but that doesn’t matter for long because the horse decides it’s had enough of all this and starts trying to stomp on the dogs.

The cacophony of barking and growling is suddenly broken up into yelps of pain and fright as tails get crushed and ribs cracked. And it’s not really the dogs’ fault, mostly, but Dean’s too busy trying not to fall off or drop the rabbit to do more than blindly hang on and occasionally kick out when somebody’s teeth scrape too close to a bare foot.

After maybe a minute of this, the horse has cleared enough of a space that Benny could theoretically climb up without being bitten, though the horse is dancing around so much that it would take a pretty impressive set of acrobatics. But still--things have quieted just enough that Dean starts to ask Benny what their plan should be, when the next wave of attackers spills onto the scene.

It’s--well, actually Dean’s not entirely sure who they are. Must be the guys from the boats, but he doesn’t recognize any of them, so it’s a pleasant surprise when they attack the dogs instead of him, though then they start to attack Benny was well, which the horse seems to take as a personal affront, for some reason.

Probably because Benny’s the one who can make apples magically appear out of nowhere.

Between all the stomping and the dogs howling it takes a while for Dean to realize that the new people are calling “Your highness” at him and trying to grab the horse’s reins rather than wave swords threateningly or anything, though the horse has to dance a pirouette around Benny to get them to back off-- “Stop it,” Dean shouts back at them, because maybe a few of them do look a bit familiar after all. “Benny’s a friend, so don’t stab him or anything.”

“Thanks, chief,” Benny says, dry as dry, and if everyone would just back off for a minute Dean could haul him up and they could get out of here. Benny has his knife out, and it’s a big knife, but the dogs have lots of teeth and the people Dean *thinks* are theoretically his servants have lots of long shiny swords, and vamoosing still seems like the best plan.

“You’re safe now, your highness,” someone says. “We’ve come to rescue you,” and a couple of them look close to tears when that doesn’t get Dean to stop brandishing the ceremonial knife at them.

“I was safe enough with Benny already, thanks,” Dean retorts, which is a blatant lie, but it’s not like these guys would know any different. Well, aside from the now-bloodied dogs who are still milling around out of reach, occasionally whining their confusion over the current turn of events. “Don’t have a crown anymore, anyway, so stop calling me ‘your highness’.”

It’s about to turn into an argument, which is annoying, but Dean can do arguments for days if he has to, when someone whistles and all the dogs suddenly perk up. A second whistle, and they’re all growling again, focus suddenly snapping over to Dean and the horse, and Dean has just enough time to thing *oh shit* before everything hits the fan.