May 21st, 2019


crack fic: Dean and a Horse (part 9 of ?)

It gets weirder from there, much to Dean's dismay. A pair of sparrows shows up to deliver cherries and a warning that Dean's--Reginald's? whatever--servants have sent forth a search party to find him, on the assumption that he's been kidnapped. When they stop at noon to let the horse rest, squirrels bring them chestnuts and news that the ferry ahead of them is out and they'll have to detour down the river several miles to the nearest bridge. They ford at the ferry anyway, on the theory that it'll help obscure their trail, and when they emerge a tiny toad has hitched a ride on Dean's dampened knee. It doesn't say anything, just peeps occasionally, and when Dean goes to flick it off, its skin is so soft that he winds up just petting it gently with one finger.

It hops away when they dismount for the night, escaping just before a couple of herons show up with fish for their dinner--and the advice to head north when they hit the swamp because there's a dragon sulking about in the southern bit.

"Do you know how much further to the tower with the giant trapped inside?" Dean asks. His boots are still soaked from fording the river, he hasn't eaten real food in what seems like forever, and the horse's spine had gradually turned razor-sharp over the course of the day. It's a good thing this is all just make-believe, or he'd be worried about permanent damage to certain important parts of his anatomy.

The herons confer, making noises at each other like a choking cat with its head stuck in a pipe, before the one on right croaks, "We don't know about a giant, but there's a tower with a princess to the south, where the dragon is."

"Great," Dean says, and waits until the herons leave before he turns to Benny. "I know you didn't sign on for dragons and it's probably not my brother, but I have to go check anyway. The witch that made the spell that zapped us here had a weird sense of humor--she'd probably think it was hilarious to turn Sam into a pretty princess."

"I'll think on it," is all Benny says, and they settle down into what's becoming their evening routine--Benny tending fire and food, Dean brushing down the horse and checking its feet and complaining quietly about how this whole thing is complete bullshit. But the fish-on-a-stick turns out pretty tasty, and he's able to find a mostly rock-free place to curl up in his bed roll, and the rabbit that decides to tuck itself into the crook of his neck is soft and warm and almost makes up for the lack of a memory foam mattress.