March 14th, 2019

dean bw

crack fic: Dean and a Horse (part 1 of ?)

Climbing down the side of a castle tower with only knotted sheets to serve as a rope is probably a Bad Idea, but there's no other way for Dean to get past the small army of servants that seem determined to shadow every single breath he takes. So out the window it is, thigh-high riding boots tucked awkwardly through his belt because the leather soles are murderously slick. He probably looks like a complete idiot, in his--doublet and hose? that can't be right--but it's not like Sam's around to mock him for it.

Which is of course the problem.

Miraculously, the sheets hold, though he has to drop the last nine or so feet on his own and nearly breaks an ankle when he lands. It takes at least five minutes of shoving and swearing to get the boots back on properly, but at last he's ready to go and the stables look conveniently deserted.

Another five minutes after that and he's wishing someone--anyone--would show up because he seriously hadn't thought this through. Horses are big. In theory, he's always known this, but it's a bit different when presented in person with an animal tall enough to easily slobber bits of hay into his hair. If it was feeling friendly, which this one isn't. Instead it's sort of huffing loudly and eyeballing him like he's a rabid dog or something. At least it has a halter-bridle thing on, so he grabs the reins and tries leading it over to a stack of crates so he can climb on.

The horse takes this as its cue to start backing away from him.

"Oh come on," Dean declaims to the somewhat cobwebbed stable ceiling. "First you dump me in Disney Princessland, and now I can't even get a ride?"

The ceiling doesn't answer, but when he starts looking around for anything useful, there's an apple next to his elbow. "Uh, thanks," he says, trying not to feel spooked, and holds it out as an offering to the horse. "C'mon, this is the part where we bond and you become my animal sidekick."

TO BE CONTINUED!