September 26th, 2014


And another one bites the dust

I think I want out of my job.

No, I definitely want out of my job. I keep winding up as the last person standing and it’s starting to get really old. And I understand why everyone else left. In every case I said to the person, “this is the right thing for you to do”, and meant it, and saw it proven true. But I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to say it to myself. I almost quit once, after spending 2.5 years filling two positions simultaneously and without any real support from my boss—and it was all due to circumstances, again: I couldn’t blame him at the time and still don’t, but—

My second thought after my co-worker, the guy who’d kept things running on an even keel after the last round of upheaval, told me he was leaving for a better job, was “I can’t do this”. I CAN’T DO THIS. Not again! And it doesn’t matter that they’re bringing in someone else almost full-time to stop up the gap, because I’m going to have to train her and she knows NOTHING ABOUT THIS JOB. Nothing. She’s a great person, but she has absolutely no experience in this field outside of 3 weeks shelf-reading and the handful of brochures (for our students) that she’s proofed for me. The guy who’s leaving has 20+ years experience. He’s been doing it since his undergraduate days. That is a gap that can’t be filled without bringing someone new in that has comparable experience.

And I’m the one who’s going to have to fill it. Lord, I know we can do all things through you—well, it’s going to have to be you, because it sure ain’t going to be me.