drabble: Vermin Control (for Sophonisba)
Vermin Control
for
saphanibaal's prompt of 'vampire pirates'
The thing is that the sun doesn’t really do anything to vampires. They don’t like it, but that’s because they’re nocturnal. Sunlight certainly doesn’t make them burst into flames, at most giving them a terrific headache.
Consequently, the shadowless expanse of the ocean isn’t much protection against them. So most of the merchant ships sailing the Caribbean carry more religious paraphernalia than some cathedrals, and a priest or two to boot: holy water does more than give vampires a migraine. But despite the hassle, few sailors complain—after all, throwing holy water at regular pirates only gets them wet. And cranky.
*
Um. So, I'll write something about the French Matter sometime soon, yes?
for
saphanibaal's prompt of 'vampire pirates'The thing is that the sun doesn’t really do anything to vampires. They don’t like it, but that’s because they’re nocturnal. Sunlight certainly doesn’t make them burst into flames, at most giving them a terrific headache.
Consequently, the shadowless expanse of the ocean isn’t much protection against them. So most of the merchant ships sailing the Caribbean carry more religious paraphernalia than some cathedrals, and a priest or two to boot: holy water does more than give vampires a migraine. But despite the hassle, few sailors complain—after all, throwing holy water at regular pirates only gets them wet. And cranky.
*
Um. So, I'll write something about the French Matter sometime soon, yes?
Of course, there aren't many non-vampire pirates left - they have trouble hanging onto priests, and so don't have any way to combat the vampires, except by setting them on fire. Which doesn't go so well when you're in a wooden boat.
And I could tell you more about vampire pirates and the socio-economic consequences than you'd ever want to hear, so I'll shut up now.
Frankly, it seems a bit like overkill to me. Ninja vampire pirates, on the other hand....
And no, those don't have ANY sensitivity to saltwater.
But cool.
(Can you imagine having seminar with a couple of those? People would be very careful about their treatment of the text. For the first five minutes, at least.)
(Rolling upon the floor, laughing off my hindquarters.)
(Would their ship be painted black, and sail about unnoticed by anyone until it was too late?)
^_____^
(If you hadn't guessed, I am very amused by the idea of priests being dragged around the Caribbean as the vampire equivalent of bug-zappers.)