November 30th, 2011


okay, so i'm depressed

We're currently trying to decide if (when) to have our dog put down. He's old, he spends his nights panting loudly and getting up to change position every five minutes, it's hard for him to get up and lie down, to go up and down stairs, to even walk sometimes (although if he simply couldn't do it at all, that would answer the question right there), and his tail's started ... leaking. Sometimes he walks around sort of doubled up because he's too stiff to stretch his back out properly.

But he's also cheerful (except at night) and doesn't seem to be in pain (except at night), and every time we take him to the vet he's so wound up by the trip and all that you can't tell anything's wrong with him.

I think everyone else has decided to do it, though, and are just trying to talk themselves into saying as much. I'm abstaining (courteously), because I don't know how to make that choice. And also, he doesn't sleep in my room, so I know of his bad nights only by report.

Any way it goes, though, he's certainly not going to be around next Christmas. Which after 12 years will be ... odd. He's been a good dog, and always there, and when he's finally not, I'll miss him.

(I kind of miss him already.)