Ha. Despite the naysayers, I have succeeded in my attempts to meet the exacting standards of verybadpoetry.com, and the results are up for everyone to see: Reason No. 1 Why This Won't Work, and a plea. I am very fond of both, although I think Reason No. 1 is my favorite. It was, incidentally, inspired by siegeofangels' song title This is why we can't have nice things.