dean bw

ficbit: Respite (7) [spn]

Continuing on from (6). Sing it with me folks: it's a rough draft! Also, I've now caught up with myself--will attempt to get more written/typed up this weekend. (deadlybride, I suspect our writing methods are very similar.)



He winds up waiting on the tiny public beach for a good 15 minutes before Dean arrives: still smeared with ash in a couple of places, disappointment visible in his gait. "No luck?" Sam asks, shifting over on the wooden bench to make room.

Dean shakes his head and drops heavily down beside Sam; the bench creaks and wobbles a little, but holds. "How about your end?" he asks in turn, running a weary hand through his hair, slumping enough to touch shoulder and hip with Sam.

"Pretty sure it's natural--something to do with the temperature this past winter."

"Crap," Dean says with great sincerity, and drops his head back so he's staring up at the blank blue sky. Sam turns back to look across the narrow end of the lake, trying to ignore the gaping pit of dread reopening in his stomach.

"You want to hear something kinda funny," he says at last, after a pair of kingfishers have finished their elaborate ballet and retired to no applause but their own filled bellies.

"I could use a laugh," Dean admits without turning to look at him. "But your jokes are never funny, man. When I laugh it's just 'cause I feel bad for you." A younger Sam might have kicked him in the ankle; in his maturity, Sam settles for rolling his eyes.

"Funny 'weird coincidence', not funny 'haha'," he clarifies, nudging Dean with his elbow to get him to straighten up. "If you look across the lake--about 2 o'clock--I'm pretty sure that's the place Jess and I were going to stay at for a week if my law school interview went well." It's an old memory, covered with mental dust, lost to him until unearthed by being in this place. "I feel kinda guilty about it, but I can't even remember whose house it was, or how we talked our way into staying there." He could probably find the name if he dug around, but some things are better left buried--that life is long over.

"Huh." Dean sits unmoving for a moment before lifting his head just enough to look at Sam. "You want to--" he hesitates, and Sam can almost see him rewriting the sentence before he finishes, "--want to get lunch? I saw a BBQ place on our way into town. Feel like some pulled pork?"

"Yeah, okay."His stomach is empty, and—well, Dean is Dean. "Just don't call me a pansy if I order something that includes a vegetable."

Dean squints at him. "Don't bitch about my arteries and it's a deal."

They shake on it, like they used to when Sam was small and Dean's one purpose in life was to keep him from turning into a feral wolf-child.

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"I could use a laugh," Dean admits without turning to look at him. "But your jokes are never funny, man. When I laugh it's just 'cause I feel bad for you."

Fantastic. :) I love that the show (and Jared) have agreed that Sam doesn't have much of a sense of humor... unless he's ribbing Dean.

Also love the visible-rewriting-to-avoid-sentiment moment. Very Dean. Though I'm left wondering a bit at it's not like he was expecting anything profound from Dean anyway. I assume Sam does know that Dean was going to offer to go and break in and look around, right? So that feels just a touch more dismissive than I'd expect.
I assume Sam does know that Dean was going to offer to go and break in and look around, right? So that feels just a touch more dismissive than I'd expect.

I hesitated over that line--it's a little too throw-back to their s1 relationship, I think. I'll have to tweak it. Maybe even a comment about how it would've bugged him when he was younger, but now he finds it comforting to have Dean default to comfort-through-food. Or that he knows that Dean's probably going to come around to it again, once he's had a chance to kick the idea around.

Or even, that he's kinda relieved Dean didn't offer, because it's easier to just not think about his former life and Jessica's death.

Um. Thoughts?
Hm, too-S1 is probably right. You don't want to inadvertently fall into the trap of overexplaining through narration, but some kind of little acknowledgement is probably needed.

I'd say that the way you should shade it depends on whose idea it will actually be to go out there. If I remember right the current plan is to have them get 'lost' and drive past it, and someone will decide to stop: will that be (a) Dean, making the wordless offer just by taking Sam to its doorstep? Or will it be (b) Sam deciding that he wants to take a look after all, and giving Dean the 'wrong' directions?

If (a), then it might flow better to have Sam be a little relieved, so that Dean can be generous later. A touch of give-and-take. Something like: "Yeah, okay." A tension in him eases, since Dean didn't make the obvious offer. He doesn't know if he's ready to revisit what was, or even if he ever will be. That feeling can then be subverted by whatever conversation they have at lunch (or on the drive on the way to the cabin?). Will Dean convince him that checking out the cabin is a good idea? Or will he lightly bluster his way through it--pretending to be emotionally obtuse so that he can do what's best for Sam's emotional well-being?

If (b), then I think the mention of Dean providing comfort via food would absolutely work. It adds a little touch of fondness, even if Sam's currently feeling melancholy (that's what I assume the 'pit of dread' is referring to?)--underlines that he's happy with Dean as is, even if he might be wondering about what another life could have been. If Sam consciously decides to go out to the cabin and have a look around, then it would be a nice parallel if he is enjoying his comfort food (and enjoying that Dean is enjoying comfort food?--you seem to be letting Sam admire Dean's animal comforts, which makes me very happy) and then deciding that he's going to 'face it' or something in that moment. Whether he announces the plan to Dean then, or whether he alters their course without telling Dean, is then another interesting character choice.

There--too many thoughts. :)
An excellent number of thoughts, in fact! One of the reasons why I have such a pathetic completion rate with my fic is that I really need this kind of back and forth of ideas to keep me engaged in the story I'm trying to tell. So all of this is fabulous. :D

I'm thinking scenario a), with Dean getting "lost" while looking for a nice secluded outlook over the lake--which he does take them to, it just happens to be right next to the house. Where there happens to be no cars or other signs of current habitation.... My feeling is that he doesn't say anything about it, really, other than, "You want to look around?"--leaves it entirely up to Sam. (And then would break in to use the bathroom even if Sam said "no".)

(and enjoying that Dean is enjoying comfort food?--you seem to be letting Sam admire Dean's animal comforts, which makes me very happy)

I'm taking my cue from season 11! :D Where Sam either a) happily eats what Dean's eating (to the point of fighting over BBQ sauce at Jody's) or b) demurs, but tells Dean to enjoy himself--mostly sincerely. :P

(Also, tangentially, I'll never quite be over Jared giving himself a stomach ache by actually eating all the burgers they used while filming the end of 11.05. There's something rather endearing about that.)