all fanfiction is collected on no cowboys here.

( Original fiction )

but this is supposed to be a review. hrm. i apologize in advance for the lack of capitalization and the abuse of punctuation.

um. so. i didn't read or watch much this past week. i was busy being productive! and stuff! and being distracted by youtube (o youtube, eater of time, you who turn eyeballs and brains into mush). but i did try to watch sherlock holmes and the baker street irregulars and had to quit about 25 minutes in. the whole thing was pretty much rubbish. read rather like bad fanfiction, actually. or watched or whatever. the irregulars were too prominent, too annoying, and not very street-rat like. and their lair was remarkably large, clean, furnished, and well-lit. also, there were about 5 of them, and i'd always figured the irregulars to be an ever-changing, only loosely-affiliated mob. that holmes used to gather information and trail people, not to retrieve stolen goods from inside upper-crust houses. etc.

holmes and watson were both most unlike themselves, with watson being rather cardboard-y and holmes being . . . well, unlike himself. sharp edges in all the wrong places, soft spots in even worse ones, and, well, boring.

the whole thing was boring, actually. i was never given a reason to care about any of the characters, the cinematography was predictable and very bbc, and the music was-- well, okay, the opening and closing credit themes were pretty good, but the incidental music was insipid at best.

I am a pitcher over-filled with water,
a teacup with no saucer,
and all I do--all I can--
is sit very still and wait and
hope (with such quiet desperation)
that the one who poured my contents in will tell me
why;
or at the least
will pour them out again to where they'd better be.

Poll #1522131
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 17

who has snow?

also, why can't it be snowing right now? why do i have to wait until dinnertime?

weather forecast - master singers

Ah ha. Sateda was harder to write about than I expected---hence the lack of grace for most of this. But I think I might do another set about the surviving remnant or something. Or Ronon, because he's always fun.

1. When a child, your duty is to your family.
When a Specialist, your duty is to your squad.
When alone, your duty is to kill Wraith.

In all things, your greater duty is to Sateda: by making your family strong, you make Sateda strong; by keeping your squad alive, you keep Sateda alive; by killing Wraith, you leave fewer to harm Sateda.

(The middle duty varied depending on the speaker's vocation; Melena's duty was to her patients, and in healing them she healed Sateda.)


2. Ronon's grandfather was born into Sateda's golden age: many machines were built, new cities were founded, art and literature and music flourished, and great advances were made in medicine. And perhaps not coincidentally, no Wraith had been seen in over a generation.

Around the time Ronon's father was born, rumors began to surface that the Wraith had returned, and everyone's mind turned toward keeping Sateda safe, keeping their families alive.

There were no farmers in Ronon's generation, no artists or writers or musicians--except those who created signs and slogans and marching songs.


3. By Earth standards, Sateda--like every other Pegasus world--was sparsely populated. By Pegasus standards, Sateda was an urban planet, with several large (even by Earth standards) cities on the continent holding the stargate, and even a few thriving colonies on surrounding islands. Ronon spent years Running through wilderness, across uninhabited planets, but Earth is the first place he visits that actually feels a little bit like home.

Well, aside from the lack of aerial defense systems and ubiquitous military.


4. The joke about a Satedan and a Wraith walking into a bar actually happened several times. Well, sort of. In the last eight years before the end, at least a dozen Specialist squads returned from missions with a Wraith's undamaged coat (in one case, three of them), and most of them swore up and down that the whole thing happened in/around a tavern. Prior to then, no one had the experience or desperation necessary to retrieve a Wraith's garments without destroying them in the process. (Ronon's squad managed two, though not on the same mission.)


5. Sateda mostly kept itself to itself--its technology far outmatched anyone's except perhaps the Travelers, and there was never any need for trade with other worlds. Most off-world expeditions, at least in the last few decades before the end, were aimed at tracking and killing Wraith. The few alliances they had were basic and short-term and not helped by the Satedans' sense of superiority.

I do have a bunch more little dude & turtle thingies, I just haven't gotten around to scanning them yet.

Anyways, this is what happens when I look at too much art by James Christensen:

No, I can't draw hands. (Well, I can, but not from memory.)

We watched G-Force only because my mom got it out from the library, and she got it out from the library only because my sister has owned guinea pigs on and off since she was about seven and currently has 4 (one of which is psychotic and has to be kept away from the others). So Mom wanted to see if the movie was good enough to recommend to my sister, and shockingly, it was. I'm not saying I'd want to own it, but given its premise (a commando squad made up of 3 guinea pigs, a mole, and a fly), it's about as well-written as it could be. The ending's a bit . . . abrupt, and there are a couple blindingly fortuitous coincidences, but the dialog is pretty funny aside from a few shlocky bits, and most of the minor characters are actually characters, not cardboard cut-outs. (There's this really hilarious bit where the G-Force is trying to escape from the FBI in rocket-powered hamster balls and the lead FBI agent is practically foaming at the mouth because he's being out-driven by GUINEA PIGS.)

So. Stupid, but in an amusing sort of way.

I do not trust you, fuzzy dog,
though you lie there like a log;
there, no log should be.

And oftentimes I find your hair
upon the sofa, bed, or chair--
dog, that chair's for me!

Your place is here, down on the rug,
four paws upon the ground, but there's the rub:
you think you should be treated just as we

and not as you,
who are a dog and nothing more.
Though you with puppy-eyes implore,
the command remains: stay on the floor!

Poll #1518651
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6

new year's resolutions

I've stopped making resolutions, but I do have goals every year. Last year's was to start posting regularly and to write more; I kind of succeeded in the first, but can't tell about the second. This year's goals are basically last year's over again, only I think they might actually happen this year. I should probably add some new ones, mostly because I figure if I can actually do it, it's too easy. Also, I really need to start cleaning my part of the house on a regular basis.

Hm. Note to self: stop talking about yourself so much. That's an awful lot of I's in the previous paragraph.

So, hey, I wrote something last Saturday. A short something, but the person who requested it seemed pleased, so maybe other people would enjoy it too.

It's about (wait for it) John Sheppard (wow, who'da thunk?), criticism, and how the people in charge would respond if they ever found out about the events being recorded in Things Already Seen.

Face Marred By Dust and Sweat and Blood

and because it's the end of the month in addition to being a Friday, here's what all I wrote in January:

5 ways to go crazy without trying
5 things that were supposed to be 5 things but weren't and most likely won't
5 more things Ronon doesn't talk about
5 things about the Athosians

Actually, this isn't all I wrote in January, but it is all I posted in January, and that's because I have a plan, and that plan includes building up a backlog of fic so that I can post on a semi-regular schedule because I want to be a writer, darn it! and I figure this will help somehow. So I've been writing drabbles every night, and hope to start working my way up to longer things with actual plots and stuff, and then the humongous WIPs I've been pretending aren't just sitting there waiting to be finished, and then (insert dramatic pause) THE WORLD!

Well, then getting paid for what I write, mayhap. Or at least for some of it. The whole publishing world kind of scares me, but I figure that's a stupid reason not to make a go at getting paid for what my brain does all the time whether I want it to or not.

out here in the cold - gotye

okay. 5 things in 15 14 minutes? i can do that. eta: apparently i can't. 32 minutes, everyone. i feel somewhat pathetic.

1. Although the Athosians are known as traders through the Pegasus galaxy, what they trade predominantly isn't goods, but rather introductions. An Athosian with a trading party is as good as a guarantee that you won't get cheated or sold out to Wraith worshipers or the like. (It isn't until well into the expedition's second year that John realizes how lucky they'd been; those early months hadn't been easy, but without Teyla and the other Athosian guides, things would have been downright hairy.)

2. They have vocabulary to describe pretty nearly every possible relationship, blood or otherwise; second cousin's mother-in-law? Something that sounds like a sneeze. (Teyla collapses laughing the first time John attempts it, and he can't really blame her.)

3. Halling can give his family history going back eighteen generations; Teyla knows fifteen; some of the older Athosians can give details as far back as thirty, although those are pretty spotty. And between everybody, they can give rough histories for almost fifty other cultures.

4. This is partly because most of the Athosians are actually refugees or the children (great great great grandchildren, in some cases) of such. Not that their home cultures had been destroyed (well, not all), but if your town's been culled and someone comes along offering your family someplace new to start over, why not? (And this is one reason why everyone knows and trusts the Athosians, to the extent that many children in villages near stargates are told to go looking for the Athosians should their homes be destroyed.)

5. They still tell the tales of great battles fought by the Ancestors against the Wraith, of their heroes and sacrifices and promises to return. And some still believe that the expedition came in fulfillment of those promises; they accept John's protests to the contrary with smiles that clearly express that they are merely indulging him.

Caprica: Started watching this because mom thought it was a movie, not the pilot for a new TV show. Watched just the first half because none of the characters were particularly sympathetic or interesting, the dialog was insipid, and the whole thing pretty much just flat-out boring. The only even remotely intriguing thing about it was the culture, which seemed to be playing with (or rather, paying lip-service to) what a modern/slightly futuristic world built on the worship of the Greek pantheon might look like. Apparently, an awful lot like oh, say, our world, just with robot butlers and different curse words. And virtual clubs dedicated to every kind of debauchery known to man with a few more thrown in for good measure, but that seemed to be mostly an excuse to show naked girls kissing each other.

And since this is all supposed to be a prequel to Battlestar Galactica, we already know how things are going to turn out: badly. So really, why bother?

But Burn Notice and White Collar are back, which makes me happy. White Collar did an excellent job of taking the seemingly inexplicable ending of the previous episode and spinning it out into something that makes sense, while still retaining the possibility that Peter's been lying to Neal and is still lying to him. The episodic stuff was pretty throw-away, as usual, but the season arc is turning out to be a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. And Burn Notice was marvelous, as always. I have so much fun watching the characters bounce off each other and be totally kick-ass that the plot almost doesn't matter.

(...Though if I'd finished this before work, when my brain was still fully functional, I would have talked a bit about plot weaknesses in both shows and why they did/didn't bother me. I'm too tired now, though.)

Gave Human Target a go, and might keep up with it, if they tone down the extremeness of the dire situation the team (are they a team? I'm not sure what term to use) and their client wind up in. Though as my dad commented, the first two episodes must have pretty much blown their effects budget, so we'll see. It feels a little unbalanced, like the writers and everyone are trying to find the show's stride, but still a lot of fun.

Bought Tales of Outer Suburbia, which is by turns beautiful, whimsical, odd, disturbing, and downright breathtaking. The artist's versatility is astonishing.

It was in the kids section of the bookstore, which probably isn't the best place for it, but I'm not sure where else it should go.

Am currently reading the Silmarillian for trishkafibble's very late Christmas ficlet that definitely isn't much of a ficlet anymore. Can't speak about the whole thing, but the bits I've read so far feel authentic--like stories that could have been told over and over through the generations. Makes me want to sit down and do the same sort of thing for the Athosians and Satedans (and C&S, which has languished long and will probably languish a while longer, though not forever). Reading Tolkien always makes me want to quit my job, surround myself with books of myths and history and some atlases, and then write all the stories in my head properly. By which I mean, with fully developed cultures and such that will make in onto the published page only obliquely.

I started an encyclopedia once, for C&S. Now I want to dig it up and spend about a year or two completing it for real.

This is why I don't read Tolkien as often as I'd like: he's DANGEROUS.

A question often asked, I know,
and always answered with resounding "no",
but it seems if this were snow
we'd be neck-deep by now (or so),
for rain comes sheeting down
as if oceans were above and we below.

Tomorrow is predicted sunshine and fair weather,
but for today
it seems we might be washed away
and ne'er see sun again.
(Woe.)

friday video on saturday because it sums up my current state of mind pretty well


Poll #1515392
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6

la la la la-la-la

syntax isn't quite right for ronon, but it's late and i'm just glad to have gotten this written before falling asleep.

*

1. The stuff Sheppard calls beer tastes terrible and has less kick than what Ronon drank every evening (with great solemnity, as eldest son with his father) while growing up. But it reminds him of nights spent with his squad celebrating another raid survived, of that sense of purpose and belonging he still hasn't found again. He's happy here, in Atlantis, but he's still other, for all that Sheppard doesn't seem to notice.


2. Teyla reminds him a bit of his older sister, although she has a grace and physical power that Rissa never found, despite long hours spent training. He'd almost forgotten he'd had a sister, after so many years spent Running, but now, sometimes, watching Jinto and the other Athosian kids play and squabble and grow. . . .

He might have had nephews and nieces, might have been called 'Uncle' by them, taught them how to be Satedan. How to laugh at the Wraith instead of tremble and to bury fear in scorn. (The Athosians do not tremble, but neither do they laugh.)


3. The first time he left Atlantis with Sheppard and his team, he almost walked away. And if he had, he knows, knows he would've been dead within a year. Two, at most, if he were unlucky.


4. When he was a kid, he had a pet zorn: stupidest thing in the world, but so soft and friendly and sweet. It died inexplicably four months after he got it, despite everything he and his parents could do. Watching it gasp away the last hour of its life, he realized that death is sometimes a good thing.

Sometimes. But mostly not.


5. If someone came to him and told him he could have Sateda back, have everything exactly as it was before without it being destroyed by the Wraith---

He would say yes, of course. He would have to say yes. But he's not sure he would want to. He loved Melina and his family and his squad, loved Sateda in his lungs and bones. Loved those people, those things. Loved them.

Now, though, he's someone else, and somewhere different, and has found new people to love, and he is glad that the choice will never be asked of him.

inevitability
n. it's going to happen, soon or later


snow is hard to draw

The Longest Way Home by Robert Silverberg: Well written, but not my cup of tea. Basically, it's the story of a 15 year old boy from a ruling class family, who has to trek halfway around the planet because of an insurrection. There are some interesting bits where he interacts with the non-human natives, but mostly it's what you'd expect from the premise. I prefer my main characters to be a little more mature to begin with, and a whole lot more proactive.

In the Beginning by the same author: Part pulp sf, part memoir, all good. These are the stories that Silverberg wrote at the very beginning of his career, and it's a fascinating glimpse into the pulp sf short story publishing industry. (I apologize for the phrasing of that last bit, but I'm not quite awake yet.) A few of the stories take a serious turn, but most of them are just plain good fun.

Rice Boy: Your basic "chosen one" story, but the world's weird enough and the characters compelling enough that it doesn't really matter. Very nifty, funky artwork.

The Great Muppet Caper (spoof trailer): Fun, fun, fun, fun! Reminds me a bit of Singing in the Rain, in that the real point of the movie is the song & dance numbers, but the dialog is witty, the characters are charming, and the whole thing is slightly insane but quite enjoyable. Our copy's on VHS and is beginning to wear out, we've watched it so many times.

A spiderweb covers the left bathroom lamp,
visible only in late afternoon,
the baseboards are dusty (my room is a wreck),
the toilet will need to be scrubbed very soon.
I cannot remember the last time we mopped,
or when we last washed all the windows (or one);
I vacuumed a week ago, but you can't tell
and the reason is lying there soaking up sun.
The paint in the kitchen is peeling like crazy,
the library's unusable--buried in books.
The garden's a mess and the yard's even worse,
and the neighbors have started to give funny looks,

but none of that matters--it doesn't, not really:
here's where I'm happy, dear. This is my home.

After spending 10 minutes trying to remove caked poop from underneath the tail of a very hair and large and uncooperative dog, changing diapers suddenly seems almost appealing.

I don't have an appropriate ew-face icon, so I'm going with Tripod Sheep instead, because sheep are also large and smelly and dirty.

Poll #1512348
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

apparently i need text explaining my question

sometimes i feel mentally poised, like i'm ready to do something, something specific--like i'm supposed to do something specific--but i just don't know what.

thanks for your time - gotye


i'm so glad i don't have to go to work tomorrow. so very very glad.